While you will find innumerable articles about “The Best Wedding Gifts Ever”, no one ever wants to talk about the “Worst Wedding Gifts Ever” even though we’ve all heard stories about them from one bride or another. So here goes my take on the “worst wedding gifts ever”. And let me tell you, when it comes to Wedding Gifts there are more than just one kind of “Worst”.
Let’s first list down some of the worst artsy wedding gifts received:
3-D painting of a horse;
An ethnic piece of art involving a cow tooth;
An inexpensive fish shaped vase;
A hand painted horse shoe (can you believe that!);
Painting of a cork from a wine bottle;
Ceramic statue of an angel in a bath tub and;
A handmade vase that resembles a hookah.
Yes I know what you must be saying to yourself at this point. “What were they thinking of”?
What they were thinking of are their preference in art is magnanimous enough to be shared by the newlywed couple too. As I have often said before, never over estimate your relationship with the new couple or underestimate the fragility of it.
Next, let’s just discuss Wedding Gifts that are not so tasteless but just thoughtless and cheap.
These are:
A £15 garage rack (is that all a relationship is worth to you?);
A set of cell phone batteries compatible with none of the couples phones;
A bottle of vinegar vegetables;
A fake crystal £5 ashtray (I mean REALLY!);
A mop;
A computer mouse pad;
Dollar-store picture frame with price tag still attached;
Air freshener;
Liquid soap dispenser with refills, and;
Empty Gift Card.
And now let’s count down the incredibly inappropriate Wedding Gifts. On top of the list: A self-help book on relationships;
Adult Literature of any kind;
Edible underwear, and;
A book about/and DIY Family Planning Kit.
Now all I have to say about people who take such liberties is, do you really think you know the newlyweds this good? No matter how casual or close you are to either the groom or bride, nothing and I mean nothing, qualifies these as a Wedding Gift, except a prank, and remember that pranks are by no means Wedding Gifts.
And now for the completely useless Wedding Gifts:
A set of Six George Foreman grills;
Birdhouse made of license plates;
A Mother Mary-Jesus night-light;
A snowman lamp for a summer wedding;
A cinnamon-scented stuffed dog",and;
Dueling harmonicas.
If the newlyweds took the time and consideration to invite you to their big day, the least you could have done is show at least 5% of the same consideration and buy something for them rather than just gifts lying around in the house.
And last but not the least offensive Wedding Gifts, are those you choose to Re-Gift. Nothing says "Congratulations on your marriage, but you are not worth spending money on!" like giving a gift that someone else has already given you. Remember just like people can hear your “Smile” on the phone, people can make out quite clearly when you are passing on an unwanted gift to them.
So here’s a list of the re-gifting blunders:
A handmade ugly wooden tray (we know you are passing it on because we already know your taste in crockery, and it’s not THIS bad);
A set of wine glasses with a chipped one just to complete the set;
A apple peeler, and;
A slightly chipped gravy boat.
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